A bit of humour for the afternoon:
My vision: the Hobbit slings Jack over his shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Mr. Jack, I'll carry you through the nerve gas!" And then, from out of nowhere, Kim throws a laptop at Jack's head, knocking them both down as they clamber up the stairwell of Mt Doom! Err.. CTU!
Kim and the Hobbit grapple.
"I won't let you hurt Mr. Jack!" cries Lynnwise. From somewhere, he finds the strength to toss Kim over the railing of Mt. Doom... err CTU, into the waiting jaws of that mountain lion from season two.
Kim dealt with, Lynnwise takes Jack's hand, weeping. "Do you remember the scent of the smog on a summer's afternoon, Mr. Jack? The taste of a burrito from the roach coach that comes every lunchtime? The sounds of car horns at rush hour?"
"No, Lynnwise, but I did remember to bring my gun." He shoots the Hobbit in the thigh and races up the steps of Mt. Doom.. err CTU!
"But Mr. Jack," the Hobbit wails piteously, I was your Lynn...."
A few years ago, I finally put a "No Soliciting" sign on our front door, tired of the stream of sales people prancing in and out. A few minutes ago, two guys come in, and one of them starts waving around a brochure for collections and launches into his spiel. I stopped him, pointed to the sign, and said there's no soliciting. you know what he says? He tells me it doesn't apply to him because he's not selling anything!?!?! Like hell. He's trying to get us to sign up for his collection service and he's not selling anything. Some people...
I always, always, wash new clothes before I wear them. Hey, you don't know where they've been! And yes, I get teased about it too. I got a new pair of jeans in the mail last night, and decided to wear them today, forgoing my usual wash first rule. Mistake!! They smell funny [pout] Don't laugh! It's very vexing to me [even more of a pout]
Listening to the President on the radio right now, and finally, he's taking it to the "HE LIED!!" screechers. What took so long? And damn, please keep it up! This is what I've been waiting for.
I was just watching Billy Crystal on Letterman. Now, he's always pretty amusing, and he's on a roll, talking about his play, and his granddaughter. Then he starts talking about this charity golf thing he did, playing with Bill Clinton. He starts out saying that there's no one he respects more in the world than him. Okay, fine, whatever. So he starts the story, then stops long enough to insert, "At least if we were in Iraq and he was President, we'd know why.". What the? Sure thing. Geez. Then he proceeded with the story, which actually was very funny. Why he felt the need to turn it into a political statement is beyond me.
Today's Peeve: when you make a lighthearted comment to a lighthearted post, and someone replies to your comment in a fashion that makes it seem like some sort of competition. Why do people do that? Are they just naturally confrontational? Do they have no sense of fun? (or perspective for that matter) Not everything is about proving yours is bigger/better/more expensive, you know.
Yes, this just happened, and I do what I usually do: start to reply, then change my mind and close the comment window. I don't want to be snippy in someone else's comments, so I usually choose to just let it go and stew over it instead. Or in this case, do a blog post on it!
Venting is good for the soul.
The fires in SoCal = global warming. Cus it's what? Uh huh... it's warm! And fires are....? That's right! And the Santa Anna winds? Yes! They're WARM! So it's obviously George Bush's fault. That, and Karl Rove's lightening machine. You can't hide the truth from me! No siree bob. And speaking of Bush -- where is he? I saw people sitting in the Von's parking lot this morning on TV. They'd been there all night. Why hasn't he shown up yet to hug a single one of the refugees? It's because he hates Southern Californians. Damn it, he hates all Californians! I think we need to travel to D.C. and meet up with Cindy and protest! Who's with me? And we can take out Rove's lightening machine while we're at it!
(this is my brain on no tea yet)
Racists! Fascists! How dare they try and keep out the undocumented masses. I demand the UN step in and stop this travesty! Imagine trying to protect your country's borders. The nerve.
Via Nin's ever changing sig quote: If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then, find someone who's life gave them vodka, and have a party. -- Jeff Foxworthy
Maureen Ryan asks the question, "Ever have a teacher who tried way too hard to be "down" with the kids? Who never knew that he was using out-of-date lingo or patronizing the intelligence of the people he wanted to befriend?" The subject? Al Gore's new TV network. A review and a handy list, including:
Most unintelligible on-air statement: "Current is a bridge between the power of a generation and a mass outlet for its voice." Thank you, Gotham Chopra.
Dopiest statement: "Our Current Hottie is sex on toast, and I think any red-blooded girl would want to take a bite." Thank you, Amaya Brecher.
Most clueless statement in press kit: "Until now, the notion of viewer participation has been limited to sending a tape to `America's Funniest Home Videos,' calling an interview show, taking part in an instant poll or voting someone off an island," Al Gore states. Uh, Al, viewers don't participate in voting anyone off "Survivor."
Go, read, snicker!
If McCain indeed said this, then he gets major brownie points.
Strong Words On Supreme Ct Nomination at Dallas Fundraiser: 'During the campaign, President Bush said he will appoint judges who will strictly interpret the constitution... thinking anything else is either amnesia or ignorance... elections have consequences... whomever he nominates deserves an up or down vote and no filibuster... and an up or down vote is what we will have'...
This should be a 'DUH!!!', but the Dems -- and some Republicans -- don't seem to get it.
Eric Laverriere, 25, of Portland, Maine, was taken into protective custody by Waltham police and locked in a cell for nine hours until the effects of the alcohol wore off.
Legal experts said his lawsuit, filed this week in U.S. District Court in Boston, is the first to challenge a state law allowing police to lock up drunk people against their will for their own protection.
Laverriere argues that the Massachusetts Protective Custody Law was written to combat public drunkenness and that the police had no right to use it to take him from a private residence. He also says he had planned to spend the night at his friend's and wasn't going to be driving anywhere.
"One thing people should be able to do is drink in their own house," Laverriere told The Boston Globe. "That's the beauty of the land of the free."
While I'm not sure that getting the Olympics is necessarily a good thing, I have to say it did my English heart good to see London wipe the floor with Paris this morning. And in the Scotsman today, there's a lovely little article: Enjoy your humble pie, Monsieur Chirac.
An excerpt below:
BRAVO Monsieur Chirac! Et bienvenue en Ecosse.
We, at Scotland's national newspaper, would like to present you with a special award to commemorate your visit to the G8 summit at Gleneagles. The Légion de Cliché (with oakleaf cluster and platinum air miles). We so hope you appreciate the gesture, as dozens of craggy-faced crofters in kilts had to be taken off their haggis-catching duties to mould the precious metal for your medal.
But what nation could resist responding to your comments about the link between international diplomacy and cuisine? Here in the concrete-and-bracken landscape of stereotype Scotland, where many of the luxuries which ease your elegant French life were first invented (a list of the top 40 can be delivered to your suite for a mere €200), we were shocked to read the Liberation report that Lord Robertson had once "forced" you to eat "an unappetising Scottish delicacy".
It seemed even more puzzling that your personal distaste for haggis should prove so globally influential; but your assurance that "from there sprang all our [France's] difficulties with NATO" has been noted.
Albeit with a giggle. We are most of us blessed with elderly relatives who believe the world's troubles stem from indigestion. However, your comments to Gerhard Schröder and Vladimir Putin - that "the only thing the British have contributed to European agriculture is mad cow", that Britain's cuisine is "the second worst after Finland", and that "one cannot trust people who have such bad cuisine" - have caused a bit of a stooshie.
You might call it a fracas, but our linguistic tendencies this week tend rather more towards Trafalgar than Auld Alliance.
The thing is, you are lamentably out of date. And - much worse - you seem proud of the failing.
To paraphrase Flo, "Kiss my haggis!"
Later: I had to pass this link on for the first sentence. I almost spit tea (it's too early for me to be drinking anything stronger).
Total and absolute blame for this goes to Lori (and Tom, of course):
The Scientology Test
Have you driven anyone insane?
* Yes, so I don't drive anymore.
Have you ever killed the wrong person?
* Not on purpose.
Is anybody looking for you?
* I sure hope not, 'cus my hair is a mess!
Have you ever set a poor example?
* No, but I've followed Lori's poor example in answering these questions!
Did you come to Earth for evil purposes?
* All I want is to train bunny rabbits everywhere to balance pancakes on their head. If that's wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
Are you in hiding?
* You tell me.
Have you systematically set up mysteries?
* No but I've built them -- where the vampires roam even.
Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
* No, I decided I was more of a "Ministry of Silly Walks" sorta gal.
Have you ever philosophized when you should have acted instead?
* No -- I'm method, baby.
Have you ever gone crazy?
* Nosey much?
Have you ever sought to persuade someone of your insanity?
* Hey, it's them that are crazy! I'm normal.
Have you ever deserted, or betrayed, a great leader?
* Yeah. When I discovered there was no GAP in Rohan, I told Aragorn that my heart just wasn't in it anymore and ran off with Eomer.
Have you ever smothered a baby?
*No, but I have poached one lightly in a nice pear reduction.
Do you deserve to have any friends?
* Define "deserve".
Have you ever castrated anyone?
* Only a little.
Do you deserve to be enslaved?
* Again, define "deserve"
Is there any question on this list I had better not ask you again?
*Any more questions with "deserve" in them.
Have you ever tried to make the physical universe less real?
* Just last week in fact!
Have you ever zapped anyone?
* Only when they [cough] deserve it.
Have you ever had a body with a venereal disease? If so, did you spread it?
* Yeah, one of those folks I accidently killed, you know, the ones from the question way up at the top? Well, one of those bodies had something nasty, so I ran them through a composting machine, just like in that Doctor Who episode, and I made a really nice mulch and spread it all over my neighbourhood.
I'm going to go DESTROY THE EARTH!! [insert evil cackle] It won't even be hard, 'cus they tell you how to do it right on the internet. In fact, they give you ten ways to do it, not just ONE! How cool is that, really? Gosh Damn!
Let this be a lesson to you all for next time when you don't comment. Oh, right, there won't be a next time because of that whole planet destroying thing. Maybe I could threaten it just a little...
Now, for the Dyson Sphere...
(via that most evil of genuises, Jonah Goldberg.)
Nothing warms the cockles of my heart more than seeing a hypocritical lib have to allow the little people to contaminate their pristine exclusive environment!
Too bad they can't make it a conduit for illegals to cross over. [snerk]
I love Maureen Ryan's TV column, and here, she delves into the movies with an explanation of Anakin's fall into darkness: Bad 'Star Wars' bosses.
What I do know is that this member of the "base" wants her representatives to stop caving into the Dems every time they so much as raise their voices. Get a backbone and get the President's judges approved! Stop letting the Dems call the shots. They aren't in power, and haven't been for quite a few years now. Start acting like the frelling majority, would you? Otherwise, why the heck did we elect you?
I swear! Even if the TIME cover piece on Revenge of the Sith assured readers that this time, George has gotten the old pizzazz back -- that this one had the old magic. I won't fall for the hype, I won't give into the sweet temptation of teenage memories. Nope, won't do it, won't be sucked in. George has lured me back twice already, and I was ashamed of myself after. But not this time. This time, I will be resolute in my not being sucked inedness. Just keep repeating, "George has jumped the Jawa, George has jumped the Jawa...."
this is just so silly! I guess FOX must be doing something right to drive this guy to such lengths. Still, seems like someone this clever could put his energies towards something meaningful. Whatever. I guess it really does take all sorts to make the world go round.
I wonder if he could make a filter for talking baby ads? Now that would be a service to all humanity!
I was watching "24" last night, and I'm shocked, angry, and appalled! How dare they portray a pale, red headed man conspiring with terrorists! I think FOX needs to do some groveling and air some PSAs to atone. Towards that goal, I hereby announce the formation of CRHAPP -- Coalition for Red Headed And Pale People. I urge you to give generously so we may fight the bias in Hollywood. I mean, who do they think they are? It's like how they always portray IRA terrorists as well, Irish. This anti-Celtic bias must be stopped. Again, I urge you to give generously so I may quit my job and spend that time wrting press releases and traveling the country to speak on any TV news program that I can coerce into having me on. I'm willing to make this sacrifice for you. Won't you join me?
Remember, if it's nay Scottish, it's CRHAPP! (I have no idea what that means really, but once the foundation is flush with funds, I'll pay some researchers to find out)
A good-natured Halle Berry, Oscar in hand, showed up Feb. 26 to claim her Razzie "award" for worst actress for her performance in last year's Catwoman, which also took the prize for worst film of the year, the Associated Press reported.
This time from June of 2003
I am "Merry"
I've given this a great deal of thought, (and it really hurt!) and have decided as a never-married, conservative, he*t*erose*xual, childless woman of a certain age, that I shall henceforth be referred to as "Merry". I am a Merry woman. So when I'm asked those frequent, nosey questions regarding my marital and procreation status, I shall simply say, "I'm Merry".
Sauce for the goose, I say!
Now the really interesting thing about this one is the comments (Jay!) What a difference a few years make. And it's an interesting aspect of blogging, isn't it? What difference will five, or ten years make when we look back at what we were talking about. In a way, it's like when people wrote long letters to each other and kept journals. Will somone read this in some form a hundred years from now and wonder who we were and how we lived our lives?
And on that note, I'm heading for home :)
Since tomorrow is my third blogiversary, I thought I might do a very short retrospective of my favourite posts.
From Sept. 2003 comes this classic, "Negative Instalanche" (and I'm still succeeding in that regard!)
Ways to Guarantee You'll Never Have An Instalanche:
01] Sign Glenn up for the "cheap box wine of the month" club.
02] Mock the State of Tennessee
03] Have the majority of your posts be about your shoes.
04] Include lots of pictures of your shoes.
05] Have your background and your text in black.
06] Use lots of Valley Girl speak. Like, gag me with a spoon, and grody to the max.
07] Include audio clips of such talk.
08] Refer to Glenn as "Smurf Boy".
09] Always use lots of !!!!!! and TYPE IN CAPS!!!!!!
10] Tell all the people who comment on your blog that their fathers were hamsters and only losers read blogs.
11] Leave obnoxious comments about Instapundit on all the blogs you read.
12] Every time you buy groceries, write a blog post with a list of what you bought.
13] Notify Glenn via email immediately about your grocery post! Then leave a comment on every blog you can notifying them of the post and the fact that you emailed Instapundit about it.
14] Talk like a pirate as often as possible.
15] Frequently point out that J-Lo stole Ben from you. (or the reverse depending on your sexual persuasion and/or gender)
Feel free to add to my list!
Apparently, my daring to guest post over at Rae's is offensive to certain individuals. If a blog I usually read has a guest blogger whose posts I didn't like, it would never occur to me to post in the comments anything to that effect. "Do unto others" isn't just a bunch of nice sounding words -- it's something some people should try out. Geez! Do people not learn basic good manners anymore?
Just had to rant and didn't want to do it at Rae's, since I'm a guest and I don't want to get the crockery broken and the furniture smashed!
Oh, and if anyone is ever that rude to any of my guest bloggers, they can show themselves the front door.
I think we need a new blogging association: The "I don't give a damn, it's only a freakin' blog!" group.
Who's with me?
(inspired by many events over the last few months)
(yes, I'm kidding -- sorta)
Later: This is for you know who....
This is great!
.... Before the election, some U.S. celebrities and numerous other Democrats vowed that they'd move to Canada if Bush were re-elected.
I hope I'm not alone in gently suggesting to those considering coming to Canada: Stay home, you pathetic whining maggots.
Particularly celebrities. Canada has suffered enough without having to put up with any of the Baldwin brothers or -- heaven forfend! -- Barbra Streisand.
And frankly, I don't know if we can afford to feed Michael Moore.
Please, oh please, read the whole thing!
A hearty AVAST! to Slings & Arrows for the link.
I've been on a tear today in comments and email over the hypocrisy of the left. But Jenna says it so well, I'm stealing it for me!
.... And if you're going to try to lecture me on the importance of tolerance and understanding, on appreciating differences and respecting others and their opinions, then it will not help your cause to start off with a tirade on "stupid, evil, ignorant, racist, misogynic, homophobic, idiotic, bigoted religious rednecks."
Thank you and amen!
I don't care!
That is all.
(guaranteed baseball free blogzone)
I present the (sorta) official Chicks For Bush Digital Brown Lingerie! [insert drumroll]
Jim Geraghty at the Kerry Spot (which you should be reading!) says this in reaction to the Kitty Kelly book:
We've had Howard Dean spreading the rumor that the Saudis warned Bush about 9/11. Ted Kennedy contended - in an argument that defies logic - that the war on Iraq was "planned in Texas" to benefit the president politically. We've had Michael Moore making the case that the war in Afghanistan was about a natural gas pipeline and oil company profits. We've had Paul Krugman arguing in the pages of the New York Times that Bush is trying to destroy democracy. We've had the antiwar left arguing, again and again, that Bush is the second coming of Hitler. I suspect that after a while, the public just tunes out this stuff.
I mean, once you've killed thousands in a war to boost Halliburton's profits, repealed the Constitution, and destroyed democracy, isn't cocaine use kind of mild?
TROY, Ohio President Bush said opponent John Kerry's service was "more heroic" than his during Vietnam, in an interview shown Saturday on NBC News.
"I think him going to Vietnam was more heroic than my flying fighter jets," said Bush, who served in the Texas Air National Guard . "He was in harm's way and I wasn't. On the other hand, I served my country. Had my unit been called up, I would have gone."
This, Mr. Kerry, is called graciousness. You could learn a thing or two from the President. If you'd kept your attack dogs in check, and had even a modicum of class yourself, you too could be considered a gracious man. If you hadn't started out with the sole purpose of denigrating the President's service and making the whole thing into a spitting contest, maybe people like me wouldn't loathe you. Maybe you'd have my respect, even if you didn't have my vote. But I guess -- if you win -- not having the respect of many of your citizens doesn't matter to you. After all, you will have achieved your ultimate goal: getting to add the most important mansion in the world to your collection.
Seems the skate-boot is on the other foot these days.
Russian gymnastics officials are screaming about unfair judging. Perhaps they have a point.
And perhaps some Soviet/Russian figure skating officials complained in years past about the blatant bias in the judging of that sport that always seemed to favor their athletes, especially in the pairs and ice dancing competitions, but I don't remember hearing about it.
Just another observation from this cranky person on a sunny Wednesday morning. Anyone else have a take on this?
I was shouting something similar to the TV last night, but Tom DeLay said it so much better than I did:
"As for Senator Kerry's opportunistic bluster about calling Congress in for a special session, that's pretty tough talk from a guy who has fewer days at work this year than he has houses. He's not been around here during our regular session; what makes anyone think he'll be here for a special session?"
Via Slings & Arrows.
Nick had to go and ruin a perfectly okay day by promoting Adrian Paul as James Bond! ACK! I hereby swear that if such a horrible event ever were to take place, I will drown my sorrows in martinis -- shaken, not stirred -- and count the days till "the man with two first names" is replaced. Absolutely anyone would be a better choice, honest!
(but I still love you anyway, Nick)
(and if I were to go with an HL alum, I'd pick Peter Wingfield a thousand times over for the role)
Oh, BTW, here's a supposed list of those in the running:
.... Clive Owen, Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Hugh Jackman, Heath Ledger, Orlando Bloom and little-known Scottish actor Gerald Butler, who actually had a bit part in the 1997 Bond caper Tomorrow Never Dies.
From the Kerry Spot:
RUDY GIULIANI ON FAHRENHEIT 9/11
“I haven’t seen it. I don’t really need Michael Moore to tell me about September 11th.”
Got this on one mf my email lists....
To whoever it may concern:
During the Clinton Administration I had an extremely good and well paying
job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes. Since
President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life change for the
worse. I lost my job. I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. I
lost my homes. I lost my health insurance. As a matter of fact, I lost
virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when
the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me,
they arrested me. I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in
the next election.
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants, to insure that a Democrat
is back in the White House come next year. Bush has to go. I just thought
you would like to know how this senior citizen views the Bush
Administration. Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
Sincerely, Saddam Hussein, unanimously elected President of Iraq
Geez louise! I'm two weeks from my 41st birthday, and I'm getting brouchures from Elderhostel -- an "adult" travel tour company. I'm not that old!
From Thursday night's programming on the History Channel:
"If another had been chosen in his [Reagan's] place, I don't know if what happened would have happened." --Mikhail Gorbachev, through a translator, referring to the fall of the Soviet Union
Reagan ended the Cold War. Even Gorby says so. Get over it.
Listening to Tim Russert on Rush right now and he mentioned Nikita
Khrushchev, who infamously stated we'd all be living under Soviet rule in
the future (I believe this is the quote he's talking about: "Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!".). Turns out that his son just became an American citizen.
Now that's winning the Cold War!
I'm not a Discworld fan, but Nin is -- big time! But this interview with Terry Pratchett, discussing the next Discworld novel, "Going Postal", tickled me, especially this bit:
"People in the U.K. are familiar with the title concept, though it isn't quite the same here. Because a beneficent government has seen to it that only criminals can have guns in the U.K., it's not so easy to get hold of a pump-action shotgun and walk into work with it.
(via SciFi Wire)
By request -- because I try to give my readers what they want -- a small selection of Bertie's Scottish jokes:
How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
Och! It's no auw that dark!
A Scotsman is working at a sewerage. It's a warm day, so he takes off his jacket and drapes it over a handrail - where it slips off into a vast tank of poo! He's just about to dive in when his mate shouts "It's nae guid tae do that, the jacket's ruined"
He replies "Aye, ah ken, but ma sandwiches are in the pocket"
A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?" The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
Five Englishmen boarded a train just behind five Scots, who, as a group had only purchased one ticket. Just before the conductor came through, all the Scots piled into the toilet stall at the back of the car. As the conductor passed the stall, he knocked and called ickets, please!" and one of the Scots slid a ticket under the door. It was punched, pushed back under the door, and when it was safe all the Scots came out and took their seats. The Englishmen were tremendously impressed by the Scots' ingenuity. On the trip back, the five Englishmen decided to try this themselves and purchased only one ticket. They noticed that, oddly, the Scots had not purchased any tickets this time. Anyway, again, just before the conductor came through, the Scots piled into one of the toilet stalls, the Englishmen into the other. Then one of the Scots leaned out, knocked on the Englishmen's stall and called "Ticket, Please!" When the ticket slid out under the door, he picked it up and quickly closed the door
Words of wisdom from an 11 year old:
"Some people might say, 'Why fight for french fries? It's small,'" Jessica explained. "But if we don't fight this, they might take away pizza and hamburgers."
Secret Identity: Ith
Special Power: Flight
Transportation: Psionic Scooter
Weapon: Electron Flare
Costume: Golden Cowl
Nemesis: Jasmine the Crafty
Tragic Flaw: Fear of snakes
Favorite Food: Raspberries
Strangely enough, I adore raspberries....
Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!
"May barbarians invade your personal space!"
You are highly confrontational and possibly in a
bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz,
if I had made it an option.
Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You will never believe the news! It's shattering, it will totally upend the political process! Sit down before you read this, please!
Are you sitting?
WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER!!
OH. MY. GOD!
If there was ever a need for a special investigative commission, that time is now.
This is just silly. They have nothing better to do than pick on the President because they say he pronounced "Nevada" wrong.
News flash! Until I read this article I never knew the "Ne-vah-da" pronunciation was wrong, and I've lived in a state right next to NV most of my life, and have spent plenty of time there besides. I've heard both pronunciations equally over the years, and I've even heard the "Ne-vah-da" form used by people THAT LIVE IN THE STATE! If the natives are using it, why on earth is the President using it such a freakin big deal?!?!?
Some reporters and politicians need to get an L I F E!
Okay, I feel better now.
It's like the yearly debate over the Salinas Rodeo, which is pronounced "Ro Day O" here, as opposed to "Ro Dee O"
And then there's the Paso Robles argument, which I'm not even going to try and illustrate.
Update Mark II: Lori chimes in.
I'm going to pick on Francis now!
Now, I love Francis, he's a wonderful commenter here on A&C, and a real sweetie, but he got my blood boiling in the comments of this post over at Dave's. As my grandma would have said, he got my Scottish up. Just for the record, I am not a less valuable commodity because I'm unmarried and childless. Got that?
Update: I linked to this discussion a few days back from a post where I wasn't really discussing the matter at hand, just pointing it out. Now I am discussing it, this is probably a more sensible place for the link.
Amusing tidbit from The Corner today involving Winston Churchill and declaring war on Japan:
.... WSC was a punctilious man, in any case. His letter to the Japanese Ambassador declaring war on Japan caused a minor scandal. After saying the necessary ("Your Excellency, In view of recent events in the Far East, it is with deep regret that I must inform you that a state of war now exists..."), Churchill signed off in proper diplomatic style: "I beg to remain, Sir, with consideration, your most humble, most obedient servant, Winston S. Churchill." There were complaints about this in the House of Commons, to which Churchill responded: "When you are setting out to kill someone, it doesn't do any harm to be polite."
This one is a hoot! Hopefully he got a few power tools out of the deal.
(Found via Jonah Goldberg on The Corner)
...it's Columbus day, but I'm working so I don't want to hear about it!
I know, for someone that said she had nothing to post about....
A coworker of mine, who's black, can't wait to get his very own copy of "Ghettopoly" to go with his copy of the "Ghetto Bible".
I kid you not.
Sometimes I love where I work!
So I open up Drudge on my browser and these three headlines leap out at me:
I'm sharing the oddness today, folks!
Found on The Corner today, this bit about an eatery in Seattle requiring patrons to sign a waiver when they order, "The Bulge" a banana, that's been battered, rolled in sugar, deep fried, then served up with ice cream, whipped cream, and macadamia nuts.
"I, ___________________, release 5 Spot from all liability of any weight gain that may result from ordering and devouring this sinfully fattening treat. I will not impose any sort of "Obesity-Related" lawsuit against 5 Spot or consider any similar type of frivolous legislation created by a hungry trial lawyer.
5 Spot will not be held liable in any way if the result of my eating this dessert leads to a "Spare Tire", "Love Handles", "Saddle Bags", or "Junk in my Trunk". If I have to go to "Fat Camp" at some time in my life, I will not mail my bill to 5 Spot.
I knowingly and willingly accept full and personal responsibility for my choices and actions."
According to 5 Spot's co-owner, Jeremy Hardy this waiver was created to "make a statement about frivolous lawsuits and accountability."
Michael informs us that Galileo crashing into Jupiter will not turn it into a star. I have to say this news just bums me out! I mean, where's the thrill? I'm pouting now. You can't see me, but I am. Damn well ruins my weekend it does, me hearties.
I demand you post something to cheer me up now, Michael!!
I found this in our local paper today:
A Freedom High School freshman has run up against opposition in her quest to start a Caucasian Club.
A local NAACP leader says Lisa McClelland's proposed club, which would be open to all races and ethnicities, smacks of racial division, a charge the 15-year-old denies. McClelland says she and some of her friends simply feel a bit slighted since other school clubs cater to specific cultures and races, such as the Black Student Union and the Asian Club.
''It's not racist because we're not excluding anyone, and we're just trying to solve the issues of racial disparity,'' McClelland said. Her ethnic background is American Indian, Latino, Dutch, German, Italian and Irish.
I have been waiting for some plucky student to do this! Turning their own words back on them. I hope she gets her club.
The NAACP, of course, does not support her efforts. Having other race based clubs is okay, as long as none of them are white:
[....] ''It will not allow us to heal that divide that we've tried to overcome in the past couple of years,'' Turner said. ''If her motivation is to bring harmony, as she alleges, this is not the way to go.''
Some of McClelland's classmates, however, support her effort.
''It'd be tight because they can learn more about their history,'' said 14-year-old Tyleisha Crooks, a fellow freshman at Freedom who is black.
Elliott Perez, 14, a sophomore at Freedom who is Latino and white, also said the school could benefit from McClelland's club.
''I think it's fair for white people to have their own club, because every other race has their own club,'' he said.
From the mouths of babes!
I've been told I need to do a better job at self-promotion. Honestly, I suck at it. But I'll try!
If you're feeling so inclined, I'd be ever so pleased to receive your vote in the "Sexiest Female Blogger" contest.
If you require visual aids, you may peruse my photo essay, created by the ever urbane Jay Solo.
And while you're at it, check out the Sexiest Male Blogger contest.
Thank you for your kind attention.
You may now proceed with regular blogging activities.
So he can add to his "gobble. gobble" collection:
"Hopelessly misconceived exercise in celebrity self-worship, which opens to nationwide ridicule today.” -- A.O. Scott, New York Times
"Nearly as unwatchable as it is unpronounceable.” -- Manohla Dargis, Los Angeles Times
"Every generation gets the celebrities they deserve, but what have we done to deserve 'Gigli'?" -- Duane Dudeck, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
The entire thing here.
And heard on the radio this morning from moivegoers: "Who would have thought they could make a movie that makes "From Justin to Kelly" seem like a five star?", & "Ben Affleck had more chemistry with Matt Damon."
I saw a report on this a few days ago: Crumbling U.N. Seeks $1 Billion for Renovation
My suggestion? If the buildings are in such bad shape, why don't we invite the U.N. to find other accomodation.... in another country!
(This is a sequel to this post)
I've given this a great deal of thought, (and it really hurt!) and have decided as a never-married, conservative, he*t*erose*xual, childless woman of a certain age, that I shall henceforth be referred to as "Merry". I am a Merry woman. So when I'm asked those frequent, nosey questions regarding my marital and procreation status, I shall simply say, "I'm Merry".
Sauce for the goose, I say!
Update: Andrea has a great discussion going on over at her blog on the "bright" thing. Enjoy!
You Guest Guy Bloggers, you're so quiet!! I'm looking for posts, y'all :)
there's some doubt out there: I'm a girl!
I admit, Ith is kinda non-gender specific (should I go back to using the full "Ithildin" again, I wonder?), but Denise isn't. And yet, even when I sign my emails from the Gaggle account "Denise", people still think I'm a guy. It happens more than you would expect.
Not a big deal, just some good natured whining on my part :)
(A little lunch break post)
According to what I saw earlier on Global Sunday, the Turks & Caicos Islands want to become a Canadian Protectorate. Apparently, Brian Mulroney (our former PM) refused a similar request from them over ten years ago.
It is my duty as a Canadian to support this idea, and encourage our government to go ahead with it. That way, the Ts & Cs get territory status, and we all get another place to warm up during the winter.
Let the age of Canadian Empire begin!
So Maripat has a list of ten reasons why she blogs. SHEESH! I have to have a reason? And not just one, but ten? Dang woman!
Okay, so here's my list!
10) So Steven Spielberg will discover me and cast me as the female lead in the next Indiana Jones movie.
09) Because it's all about the cheese!
08) Because all the cool kids do it.
07) As a way to pick up hot chicks.
06) Because if they'd had blogs way back then, Elizabeth I would have had one.
05) Because it beats working for a living.
04) Ninja Monkeys!
03) Because I always wanted to play the violin.
02) For the free drinks
01) Because all the Elves left, and I was lonely.
that blogging doesn't stop here at ye olde blog on the weekends! Looking for something, anything, to read? Well, look no farther!
"Gaggle, the Home of Weekend Posting!"
Another one of those things I was going to post about ages ago, but forgot about till now. My memory was jogged by a thread on The Corner today about campus conservatives, and the comment from an emailer that his rich girlfriends were country club members, and liberals, and he swam at the public pool.
So where do the left get this idea that conservative/Republicans are all rich? I mean, the Kennedys are rich, right? I think of my favorite blogs, and as far as I know, most of the VRWC types that write them aren't rolling in dough. The opposite in fact; most seem to be regular folks who try to make ends meet and pay the bills. I'm certainly not wealthy. I share a house with four other adults to make do here in overpriced California, I own a 1986 Jimmy (My first ever vehicle that I got three years ago. I took the bus before that). I'm not living hand to mouth by any means, but if something happened [knock wood], I'd be in a serious amount of trouble. But because I'm a conservative Republican, I should be upper middle class at least! Oppressing the common worker! I don't think the Dems can handle us lower to middle class "oppressed worker" class types not buying into their nonsense. They don't get that I've worked hard for what I have, and have been working since I was 15. I didn't go to college, I've been poor. It drives me crazy when I'm told that Republicans don't understand what it is to be poor. Bull hockey!! As a child, I remember the thrill of getting to drink real milk, instead of powdered, I remember living in our camper, my grandmother's basement, and my Aunt's garage. Don't tell me I don't get it -- they're the ones that don't get it! They think by pandering to me because I'm a woman, because I'm not wealthy, because I'm a high school drop out, that I'll vote for them. That by spouting their empty promises, I'll swear allegiance to "gimme government". They believe that I'm too stupid to see through the smoke and mirrors the Dems are so good at manufacturing. Well, they're wrong. I see quite well, and I can only hope that more people will see through their slight of hand.
Found this on The Corner:
This is from Richard Simmons, the fitness guru, on CNN earlier today, about HHS efforts to get fast-food change to, in the words of Tommy Thompson, "diversify" by providing more than oreos (sorry, Robert) and fries: "People have been frying foods since Jesus was on this planet, and there is always going to be greasy, fried, salty, sugary food. It is up to the individual to walk in and say, I don't want those fries today. I have 40 pounds to lose. It is not the fault of the fast food people, and anyone who's trying to sue the fast food places needs a therapist, not an attorney. You have to make your own decisions. That's what the freedom in America is all about.:
I want to talk about tax cuts. Now, I think tax cuts are an excellent thing, and there should be more of 'em! But I have a long standing beef. I'm not married, nor do I have children, and if you're single and childless as I am, no one in either political party gives a fig about you. All you hear about are families, and children and on and on and on. If it comes to tax breaks, or some government program, the single need not apply!
Don't get me wrong, I love kids -- I wish I had some. But single people pay taxes too. Too many taxes IMHO. And there are lots of us out here who would like, just once, for our elected representatives to give a rat's ass about us. Don't forget we vote too!
Thank you for your kind attention.
Gripe over (for now).
is a picture! Put that in your Leftie hat and smoke it!
Photo via Drudge Report
Down in the comments of one of Nin's "It's Rick" posts, I mentioned that Neil Cavuto is my favorite FOX anchor. Well, here's one reason why (found this on Cold Fury)
This is his repsonse to a journalism professor who says he has no right to call himself a journalist or to have a show:
You might have a problem thanking troops defending your right to be the obnoxious, pontificating jerk that you are, but I don't.
You might have reservations about calling this country great, but I don't.
And you might have doubts about showing your partiality to the flag, but I don't.
There's nothing wrong with taking sides here, professor. But there's everything wrong with you not even making the distinction. I can love my country and my job at the same time. It is possible, you know.
You see no difference between a government that oppresses people and one that does not, but I do.
You see no difference between soldiers who use women and children as shields, but I do.
And you see no difference between forces trying to liberate a country and those keeping it in the Stone Age, but I do.
I'm not sure what runs through your veins, professor, but something tells me it's ice. Too cold to appreciate the rights you take for granted. And colder still to acknowledge the men and women fighting for your right to be the callous elitist you are.
So am I slanted and biased? You damn well bet, professor.
I'm more in favor of a system that let's me say what I'm saying here than one that'd kill me for doing the same thing over there.
You have the right to be the self-absorbed, condescending imbecile you apparently are and I have the right to tell you that. You didn't give me that right, professor. My country did.
You say I wear my biases on my sleeve. Well, better that than pretend you have none, but show them clearly in your work.
You're a lie, a fraud and an ingrate. Too clueless to appreciate the country that gives you the right to be the Ivy League intellectual Lilliputian you are. And too selfish to be grateful that in this country, even your type can find work.
From a thread entitled "Way To Go, Chicks"
* I could not be more proud of the Dixie Chicks than I am now. It's so wonderful to hear the group speak up about the embarrassment and isolation our sorry president has caused for the people of the United States.
*I applaud Natalie for speaking out. Many of you are criticizing her for speaking out while overseas, but perhaps you don't realize the censorship going on in our own country. Those of us who don't support the president's war don't get publicity, therefore many citizens don't realize the lack of support in the U.S. for the war.
What cave does this person live in? Inquiring minds and all that. From what I can see, the majority of the posters on this thread totally disagreed with the above. A few examples:
*When you grow up and become a real adult, you will learn that there are evil people in this world h*ll bent on destroying anything resembling western civilization. Does Hitler ring a bell? How many lives could we have saved if we had taken care of him in 1933 when he burst onto the scene? Were you against going into Kosovo to rid the world of the tyrant there? I think your wonderful Mr. Clinton did that without any permission from anyone.
* You have got to be kidding...The anti-war protesters don't get any media attention? What have you been smoking? And, no evidence? I think you had better start doing some reading. Let me give you a quote from a person I suspect is a hero of yours: "What if Saddam fails to comply and we fail to act, or we take some ambiguous third route which gives him yet more opportunities to develop this program of weapons of mass destruction? . . . Well, he will conclude that the international community has lost its will. He will then conclude that he can go right on and do more to rebuild an arsenal of devastating destruction. And someday, some way, I guarantee you he'll use the arsenal." Those words were spoken by one William Jefferson Clinton in 1998.
*I'm a Gore voter, but what you said illustrates clearly, that anti-war is really anti-Bush. I haven't seen one articulate argument about why Bush is wrong, just crazy ranting.
Also, for the people who insist on saying Bush was "appointed,"we have an electoral college; always have. Get over it.
A little entertainment for a Friday!
Oh, BTW, a coworker said he heard that they got quite a few boos in London ater Natalie made her little statement. I'll be interested to see what reaction they get when they get to the US portion of their tour.
Now, I'm going to take the rest of my lunch break away from the computer!
To the family of Richard Ricci, I never believed that he had anything to do with that girl being kidnapped, even when it happened and his name was brought up. I never believed it when he was in jail and I am genuinely aggrieved that people will remember him in that manner and not as a man who had made a sincere effort to straighten his life out.
So There to all the people who were butt heads about the man! It wasn't him after all.
And again I say, "HAH!" (I'm going to need to give these sorts of posts their own category soon)
Back in the late 1990s, a new U.N. weapons inspection team was created after Saddam kicked the old inspectors out, but France, Russia and China were so unhappy about the idea that they abstained.
The U.N. secretary general proposed Rolf Ekeus - like Blix, a Swedish arms-control expert, but unlike Blix, a man with a track record for toughness. So France & Co. used their U.N. Security Council veto (sound familiar?) to knock out Ekeus.
"France and China joined the Russians in objecting to the nomination of Rolf Ekeus. The three want the nomination process reopened so that someone more acceptable to Iraq can be found," The New York Times reported on Jan. 19, 2000.
Bingo - Blix. He had a track record, but it wasn't exactly sterling.
"The fact that Blix was picked was indicative of what has been the fundamental problem - Russia, France and China have wanted to take a soft stand on Saddam Hussein," said Columbia University professor Edward Luck, who heads the Center for International Organization.
Brian Kilmeade rocks! GO BRIAN! Brian Kilmeade, you kick ass, dude! You so totally rock and you called a spade a spade, sweet pea! More power to you! THANK YOU for not taking that woman's crap. She came across as bitch, an idiot and immature--you kept her in her place and you gave it right back--she is obviously nothing more than a Dim-o-crap who likes to name call, bitch and whine.
Mister Kilmeade, you stood your ground! THANK YOU!
Val Kilmer said it best--'What do I know about it? I'm just an actor.' Thank you for having enough sense to keep your mouth shut. *g*
Kill it and Grill it! Way to go, Mister Ted Nugent! *g*