March 15, 2006

What My Version of 24 Would Have Been Like This Week

My vision: the Hobbit slings Jack over his shoulder and says, "Don't worry, Mr. Jack, I'll carry you through the nerve gas!" And then, from out of nowhere, Kim throws a laptop at Jack's head, knocking them both down as they clamber up the stairwell of Mt Doom! Err.. CTU!

Kim and the Hobbit grapple.

"I won't let you hurt Mr. Jack!" cries Lynnwise. From somewhere, he finds the strength to toss Kim over the railing of Mt. Doom... err CTU, into the waiting jaws of that mountain lion from season two.

Kim dealt with, Lynnwise takes Jack's hand, weeping. "Do you remember the scent of the smog on a summer's afternoon, Mr. Jack? The taste of a burrito from the roach coach that comes every lunchtime? The sounds of car horns at rush hour?"

"No, Lynnwise, but I did remember to bring my gun." He shoots the Hobbit in the thigh and races up the steps of Mt. Doom.. err CTU!

"But Mr. Jack," the Hobbit wails piteously, I was your Lynn...."

Posted by Ithildin at March 15, 2006 1:31 PM | PROCURE FINE OLD WORLD ABSINTHE

Bwahahahahahahaha!

I think I like your version better...

Posted by: Ninjababe at March 15, 2006 2:06 PM

I dunno.... I do miss the Princess Bride bit...

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 15, 2006 2:17 PM

ROFL

Of course they have to do all of this under the all-seeing eye of the Ori.

Posted by: Daniel Upton at March 15, 2006 2:19 PM

Wrong place to look for anything Princess Bride related. I barely remember it from my one long ago viewing (other than not liking it, of course) (someone on 24 was in Princess Bride?)

Posted by: Ith at March 15, 2006 2:52 PM

wha???? How could you NOT like it? It's so.....you. Fantasy and funny and ....
I mean I'm actually shocked. Perhaps you should try it again....

When Tony went up to Robocop the first time, he said "Hello, my name is Tony Almeida, you killed my wife, now you will die." In the Princess Bride, Mandy Patinkin's character says to the six-fingered man, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die." over and over again.

Posted by: caltechgirl at March 16, 2006 8:49 AM

Heh, you've missed my well documented dislike here. It comes up a few times a year. Nope, watching it once was enough. Just not my cup of tea. And this is the point where I also mention I hated Shrek too! :)

Posted by: Ith at March 16, 2006 9:00 AM

/gasp! You hated Shrek AND Princess Bride. Well...your rewrite of 24 was funny enough to overlook that. :-)

Posted by: Princess Jami at March 22, 2006 9:54 AM