October 19, 2005

For Your Elucidation

When you call for one of my coworkers, here are a few things to keep in mind:

I don't know how long he'll be on a call.

I can't force him to call you back.

I don't know who he's talking to -- and even if I did, it's none of your damn business!

I don't know what his average response time is on responding to voicemail.

I don't know if he read your message.

I don't know if he's listened to your voicemail.

If he hasn't called you back, don't accuse me of not giving him your message.

I don't know why he didn't call you back.

He isn't required to account for his time to me, or you, for that matter.

I don't know how long his meeting will be.

No, you cannot have his cell phone number, home phone number, or his pager number.

His wife isn't here at his place of work.

I didn't say he wouldn't be back today, I said he was at lunch!

Give me grief when you're a lousy telemarketer, and you will regret it.

When I tell you that no one is here but me, I'm not lying.

He's 'away from his desk' -- do I have to spell it out to you that he's in the bathroom, so no, I'm not going to go find him for you?

I'm not his mother, a mindreader, his social secretary, or even his assistant, so get over your gorram self!!

/vent

That felt good! Imagine the above all in CAPS with many many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s

Posted by Ithildin at October 19, 2005 12:58 PM | PROCURE FINE OLD WORLD ABSINTHE

Was that one caller or a series of maroons?

Posted by: The Thomas at October 19, 2005 1:47 PM

HUGS!!!!!!!!

BTW it looks like the MuNus are down...

Posted by: caltechgirl at October 19, 2005 2:05 PM

That was a digest of 14 years of phone calls :)

I saw that MuNu was down yet again :( Sucks for you, obviously, but sucks for readers like me who have a big honkin list of blogs on MuNu that are faves.

Posted by: Ith at October 19, 2005 2:52 PM

Po' Ithy! ::smacks the bad phoners::

I always enjoy calling you at work - they're always nice while hunting you down :)

Posted by: eviltammy at October 19, 2005 9:36 PM

I hear you, Sister. :-)

Posted by: Princess Jami at October 20, 2005 8:05 AM

The way they teach kids to spell in these schools KATT DAWG TAYBUL NIF SPUN HAWSE and this spelled right is CAT DOG TABLE KNIFE SPOON HOUSE time for more home education and eliminate the dept of education and get the NEA out of our homes

Posted by: condor at October 21, 2005 6:26 AM